Upon visiting my friends in their newly purchased second home, away from the cold Midwestern winter, I was left with many questions.
What is it like to live in 2 locales? Is it so much fun like constant vacations? Or is it double the work? The housework? Social life? Logistics?
Here are some answers from different styles of lives in multiple locations:
The Retired Couple.
My friends, the snowbirds, who are retired, fly to Florida for the winter and appear to love the life in 2 locations; over the years they had created two entirely separated lifestyles two households, 2 golf-club memberships, warm climate wardrobes and new friends for the winter months.
Their friends and family visit with them often for holidays and long weekends. During the summer they come back to the Midwest, sun-tanned already from Florida sun.
Their comments: Living in two places while you retired have the benefits of both worlds. We dont remember life in the snow and ice, nor do we want to.
The Working Couple.
Tina and Josh were gracious enough to give me some inside look into their double life: Tina is a writer: I can work from everywhere, providing I have my lap-top and electricitywhy would I stay in the heat of Arizona during the summer?
Josh did not mind the heat, he is an expert in internet marketing, and he too can live anywhere and work from home. Now they live in Minneapolis on the lake during the summer. My wife is so happy here, in the summer. This makes me a happy man.
The Single Executive.
My neighbor Sheila, single in late 30s, was promoted to an executive position in a national corporation. Now she is traveling between N.Y. and LA. She is spending two weeks in each location and she loves it. After every trip she gets a travel day, that is a day off from work to rejuvenate before resuming her job at the next location respectively.
Sheila says: my friends in LA have very little time to socialize. By moving away half the time to NY, I am forced to have quality time with my LA friends and find new interesting contacts in NY. I am dating in both locations and curious to see what will happen next...
Family with school-age kids.
Now that is a challenge.
The couple of families Ive interviewed have young pre school children. They act like the retired couple; snowbirds style; one family spends summers in NY and winters in Palm Spring, CA. They registered their kids to 2 preschools, have 2 sets of baby sitters, 2 households and 2 Pediatricians, of course.
They plan to continue the Bi-Coastal lifestyle till the oldest child will go to first grade.
What double-locations home-owners have in common?
Feeling of adventure and anticipation before coming home to the other location.
After being away for a while, there are some feelings of alienation, estrangement and separation from each home.
All report of being tired of air travel, airports and carrying luggage back and forth.
Emotional consideration: social life becomes an important issue. Missing the friends/family in one location does not seem to be healed or made-up by having new friends. You dont replace people you love. You just keep missing them
Missing personal, special occasions, such as birthdays, anniversaries of family and friends.
Most Double-lifers reported missing hobbies, collections, books, art and things they have in one of the locations.
Life in multiple locations is fun and fulfilling for the people who were willing to be interviewed.
For some this is a dream come true with many years of hard work and money savings.
For others life in multiple locations has been an unplanned and welcomed surprise.
In any case, to repeat my question: is it double the fun or life divided?
The answer: is yes.
Dr. Nili Sachs in an executive coach, an author and a therapist. To learn more about Dr. Nili Sachs, please visit her websites at http://www.DrNili.com and http://www.boobytrapped.com. Take the quiz: Are You Booby - Trapped? on the web site. Dr. Nili Sachs is the author of: Booby-Trapped, How to Feel Normal in a Breast-Obsessed World.
